Midnight Mass

Warning!  Do not watch this movie.
If you are sitting there thinking “I’d like to watch a terrible movie with absolutely no redeeming qualities that is less pleasant than swallowing thumbtacks,” have I got a movie for you. I can’t even find the trailer to further warn the masses, nobody cares about this movie and rightfully so.

Midnight Mass starts off stronger than most shit movies with major new agencies reporting a pandemic. A mysterious disease is working it’s way across the world leaving nothing but death. Well, the plague turns out to be vampires, surprise.

That’s it. Once the opening sequence is done this movie becomes unbearable bunk. Most of the actors are new and unknown but that doesn’t even begin to justify the grade 10 drama class acting. The main character is unlikeable and the drunk and disgraced preacher looks like he should be leading Nickelback.

There are, of course, a group of goth kids who work for the vampires during daylight hours in the hopes of becoming vampires themselves. Slapping some Black Metal band makeup on is not enough to make these folks intimidating or even remotely believable. The head vampire looks and sounds like a used car salesman. The finale is so bad that you can’t even laugh as you usually would at a b-movie. You just want the DVD player to burst into flames.

Don’t watch it, I beg you.

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