New day, new province!

I know, I know.

So I’ve made the shift from Ontario to British Columbia. Even with all the natural splendor, my horror movies keep me in the dark recesses of my mind, and this apartment. I braved the sun and found a pawn shop and some new titles, don’t laugh.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning – shallow vapid youths, check. Crazy locals, check. Gratuitous amounts of blood, check. This film is a lot of fun. It loses the gritty realism that made the original the icon it is but it made Leatherface an intimidating force of nature instead of a squealing drag queen. I find this movie a welcome addition to the TCM franchise.

The Hills Have Eyes 2 – the blasphemous and frustrating follow-up to Aja’s remake. This movie is a failure. The acting is horrendous, the characters aren’t likeable or believable, and they some how make crazy, murderous hill folk boring. So fail, do not watch!

See No Evil – this movie is not nearly as bad as it should be. WWE’s Kane makes a threatening villain and watching him stalk the halls with a chain and hook is enough to make this a tolerable body-count film. The finale is a succesful and hilarious use of mid-grade special effects. Worth at least A watch.

Creepers – this was the first time I saw Dario Argento’s Phenomena packaged under it’s American release title so I scooped it up even though I already own the film. Watch the movie, and Jennifer Connely’s budding eyebrows.

Hostel – Eli Roth grabbed my attention with Cabin Fever, I expected amazing things from him, unfortunately Hostel is not it. The characters are abrasive and irritating so you just don’t care about the horror that befalls them. The torture scenes are meek for a movie that started what was to be known as “torture porn” and the film is a bit of a boring mess. Take it or leave it. For the record, definitely leave Hostel 2 alone.

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